It's been two weeks since I submitted my final project, packed my suitcase and got on a plane home for a short three weeks holiday. The realisation of becoming an adult has finally struck me, I have to start buying vegetables, earning my own bread and butter and make responsible grown-up choices. Although I feel quite confident in stepping into the adult world its ruthless and unforgiving nature still make me ill at ease. So as a reminder to myself or kind of a manifesto I'd like to take the chance to put down 10 promises to my adult-self that hopefully get me through thick an thin and help me to grow into a person I wish to be and accomplish the goals I've set to myself.
Let others success be your source of inspiration not envy
Last summer, while working in China we had a grammar-related bet with my boss. Having won the bet she offered to take me to the best sea-food buffet in town. In between eating some strange three eyed fish and battling with crab legs, we started talking about my future career and goals. As my vision and ambition weren't as clear as they are today I gave her a vague answer of 'I don't know' and complained how scary adult life seems. Sitting behind that buffet table she gave me the best piece of advice I can ever imagine. She said: "If a man (as if human being) can do it, so can you." It is important to be your own greatest supporter, fangirl and a cheerleader. Indeed, if a person can do it, why wouldn't you? You are not inferior to anyone else, if you don't give them the right.
Do not let failure get you down
Setbacks, swerves, and curves await everyone and every success story needs a prequel to explain how we've found our way to victory. I recently watched a TED talk about grit and how resilience and determination is more important than one's IQ. It is necessary to remember that failure always teaches us a thing or two and truthfully, the older I get the more I realise the veracity of this statement. From Bill Gates to Socrates to John Maynard Keynes and J. K Rowling, they have all failed, but still come up on top. Thus, dear self, do not be discouraged by failure because ultimately without failure there can be no success.
Never stop learning
Even after all MA's, MSc's and PhD's never stop learning! Be thirsty for new knowledge and skills, because one can never be too smart or too skilled, especially in a world that changes in a meteoric speed. It is important to remember that education does not stop with university, there are millions of opportunities to expand your mind and it is never too late. The 70 years old law student who often sat next to me in library is a living proof that you can learn until the last day of your life. Thus, read books, attend seminars, take part of different courses and travel to broaden your mind.
Always set goals
This was something that my mom always told me during my teenage years. She is a firm believer of subconscious goal setting and thus advised me to write down my aspirations and objectives. I didn't really pay attention to that piece of advice, but as with everything my mom has ever told me I've realised the truth behind it only now at the age of 21. So to test the theory I've put down my objectives and dreams hoping that it actually works. I can definitely see logic behind the theory. After all, how do you know which way to go if you don't have the slightest clue of where you are heading?
Be kind to yourself
I've often been described as my own biggest critic. Indeed, it's hard for me to accept imperfections and mediocre performances and results, as I'm always convinced that I could have done better. To make matters worse, I'm both blessed and cursed with a very competitive character, which can oftentimes be a headache. However, notice to take time for yourself and your loved ones and forgive yourself for failures. Don't be afraid to put yourself first and say 'no' if that is what you really want to say.
If you have the power to change something you’re not happy with, do it
Although we've never been religious and I believe more that Tupac is alive than God, my mother has always told me: 'If you don't help yourself, nor will God'. An important takeaway from this is that everything (well, maybe 70% of what happens) is a result of your own actions and perhaps missed opportunities. So although there are certain events that we unfortunately have no power over, it's always up to us how we react to it. Perhaps one of my favourite sayings goes: Behind every successful woman is herself so notice the opportunities and take chances to succeed.
Never let yourself be inferior to men
I recently read a Guardian article about how hunter-gatherer tribes lived in an egalitarian society in the early human days. Male dominance is something that came with the advent of agriculture. It is outrageous to even think about the ridiculous numbers of women on top positions: out of 190 heads of states only nine are women. Furthermore, merely 15-16% of top C-level jobs in corporate sector are occupied by women. Although it can be argued that women have the responsibility of bearing and raising children, another fact to consider is that according to HBR women are paid $4,600 dollars less for their first post-MBA job. So, I've put it into my personal mission statement to one day be at a top position sitting behind 'the table' being treated (and paid) equally to men. Watch me.
Be bold
This piece of advice is probably something that has been in every graduation speech ever given. Be bold enough to take risks and get out of your comfort zone, because success will only favour the bold, because there isn't many of them.
Don’t quit
Can you image what you could have accomplished if you had never quit on anything? Well, I personally would probably have a body of Halle Berry, language skills of Jodie Foster and a mind of Marie Curie. There are too many quitters on this Earth and too many promises that haven't been kept, do not be one of them.
Care only about what matters
"If you give a damn about everything and everyone, you'll quickly run out of damns, or even worse, go into damn debt," says Paul Jarvis. Concentrate only what is important (notice how I didn't say 'beneficial', because it's important to be selfless too and do things without necessarily gain anything from it) and disregard what's distracting you, including which celebrity boobs were exposed this week, what do people who don't like you think about you or your ex boyfriends/girlfriends, who clearly weren't worthy of your time and energy. Care about the things that are permanent in your life: self-growth, education, career. Care about your close ones. Care about the planet and its creatures. Care about you.
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